Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
