No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
