put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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