I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
