You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
