i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
