I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
