Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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