I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize