I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Boobs speak an international language.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
