The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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