Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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