i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
