Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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