the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i've created a new STD.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
