You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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