So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize