38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
