overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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