her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
