Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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