Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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