i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
