I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
