Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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