oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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