He had one of those small greek statue penises
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize