Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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