She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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