I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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