Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He shit in the fireplace
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
