chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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