So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
please come you make the beer taste better
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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