The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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