Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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