the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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