Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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