Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
