you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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