You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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