try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
