mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize