Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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