woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
