I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
