But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
