Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My ass is underappreciated
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
