But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
