I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
