I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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