Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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