so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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