It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
