ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
