I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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