Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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