do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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