Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
