Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
